I have been working in the field of self-love for a decade now and I’m still surprised  by how little is understood about self-love and how to achieve it.  You still hear all of the New Age teachers talking about the importance of and I have written a blog about the signs of loving yourself.  So I would like to take this opportunity to explain what self-love really is and the one thing you have to give up in order to really fall in love with you.

You cannot have self- worth if you do not have self-love.  You can only love yourself when you feel worthy of love therefore they are enmeshed with one another.  That should simplify a lot for you.  You don’t have two goals to achieve.  It’s just the one. When you feel worthy you will love yourself and when you love yourself you will feel worthy.

You may be wondering how self-love looks or how it can manifest in your life.  First, you will notice that you can and do and you even feel good about putting yourself at the top of your priority list.  You take care of yourself first and you understand how this is NOT even remotely selfish it is actually selfless.  The truth is that the more you give to yourself first the more you can give to others.

Self-love manifests as being your own source of love, acceptance and approval.  When you are present in your natural state of self-love you can then meet your own needs of approval and acceptance.  No longer does your happiness depend on the approval and acceptance of others.  You can see clearly that if another does not love and accept you, that it is about their ability to love, not about your lovability.

Self-love means that you are gentle with yourself.  Being as kind and compassionate to yourself as you would be to your best friend.  You honor your own emotions and needs rather than negating them, which is negating your Self.  Self-love is taking a rest when you need a rest, exercising when you don’t feel like it, being honest with yourself and others, and standing up for you and what you believe in.

What is that one thing that stops you from dancing the joys of Self Love?

It’s one word….


Humanity has a deep seated guilt within their psyche.  It comes from the millennia of being taught that we are sinners.  We were born guilty.  So for the rest of our lives, we are unconsciously trying to prove that we are worthy of God’s love, mom and dad’s love, our friend’s love, our spouses love, but neverfeeling worthy of even our own love.

I know… I know you may be thinking, “no, I don’t feel guilty about anything.”  But you see guilt is such a horrible feeling that we bury as deeply as we can.  Would you like to know if you are harboring guilt?  There is a sure sign that you are.

Do you judge other people?

If you said yes then you are harboring guilt.  Because we feel so guilty we attempt to project our guilt onto others.  It just feels better.  I’m you’re not conscious of this behavior.  It’s not as if you’re saying wow, I can’t handle this guilt anymore, I’m going to go find somebody to project it on to.  No, it’s a greater habit than that.

As long as you harbor guilt your psyche will make sure that you are punished.  We all know that guilt deserves punishment or legal system tells us so and so do organized religions.  So our unconscious mind has no choice but to create that punishment.

Do you suffer from physical pains, not having enough money, not being able to control the foods you choose to eat?  Whatever it is in your life that is not living up to your desires is your unconscious punishment.  You actually believe that you are not worthy of your desires because you are guilty.

Are you ready to release that unconscious guilt and embrace your worth and self-love?

Then let’s work together!