I crave the answer to a question unknown.
I fear I might explode
The pressure of information wanting to burst through me
I look outside.
Pulling books from the shelves. Opening to random pages praying
the answer will reveal itself in
words I’ve read hundreds of times.
And I realize, I’m looking the wrong direction.
Hiding
My answer…
The answer to the deep unknown question…
Isn’t out there.
It’s
Inside.
Within me.
Within my heart.
Everything has been right HERe.
All.
Along.
Why then is it that I always seek out there?
Rather than in HERe?
What is it about my own fertile darkness within?
Why am I so repelled
that I seek, seek,
And seek again
All the places I’ve already been?
I avoid her.
But the hunger becomes too great….
Nothing satisfies.
I feel as though I’m going mad…this craving going unfed.
But nothing, nothing of this world fills it.
Finally,
I surrender
I have no choice…
But to dive deeply
Wholly
Completely
Into the Dark Richness
Of my soul.
The darkness is pure…
Pure potential.
Holding.
Everything.
Yes!
I dive out of desperation
Years of starving
Emptiness
Disappointment
Force me into my own Soul.
I fall.
Out of control.
Exquisite falling
Floating
Light as a feather
Ecstasy
Silent bliss.
Home
This is home.
I AM home
My heart is where my home is.
Why have I waited?
Why have a I suffered so long…
Feeding myself scraps of this world
All along She waited
Patiently
Arms open
Womb receptive
Love unwavering
Sophia knew…
She always knew
That I would return to Her
That I would return to Me
I was the unknown question
I am fed
Thirst quenched
Satiated
In Her
In Me
I and my Mother are One