Finally! Conquer Self-sabotage Step 2

Last week we discussed identifying the experiences of your past and releasing the emotions around them.  You learned that from each experience you create stories about yourself based on that experience.

For instance I used an example of feeling humiliated in front of a classroom and the subsequent story being “I’m stupid” or “I look stupid” and also the example of absent or dismissive parents causing you to feel unworthy of their time or attention creating the story that “I’m not worthy of time/attention” or “I don’t matter”.

Your first step was to release the emotional triggers around these experiences using emotional freedom technique.  The second step is to rewrite the story.  You don’t have to be completely free from the emotional trigger in order to write the new story but the more emotions you release  the better your new story will become.

Please don’t dismiss this step because it sounds so simple.  This process is extremely powerful when used correctly.  Science shows that when you are remembering an event a particular part of the brain lights up.  The fascinating aspect is that when you are visualizing a new event (one that you make up) the same part of the brain lights up.  Your mind does not differentiate between a “true” memory and a vision that you are creating.

This means that as you rewrite your story and the circumstances under which you created the first story, you begin to heal and create a new present that is based on what you WANT rather than on your past as you currently remember it.

This is powerful enough to heal even the trauma of sexual assault.  I’ve witnessed it in my own practice.

Let’s use the example of the “unavailable parents” from the previous article.  The story was “I’m not worthy of time and attention”.  Your first step is to turn that around and make it an affirmation.  I AM worthy of time and attention”.  Then ask yourself what your parents would have done for you to teach you that you are worthy and that you do matter.  What actions would they have taken?  Create and write out an entire scenario (as if it’s a memory) that would have happened in your childhood that would have helped you to feel worthy and important.  Once you write it out, put yourself into a relaxed state and visualize it happening.  Allow yourself to feel the joy of being worthy of your parent’s time and attention, feel the love, and acceptance.

Really get into it.  Allow the details of the events to unfold in your imagination.  You are actually creating a new memory.  This is the memory that you will recall as your “new past”.  You are actually reprogramming your mind to give you the past experiences you needed to be the person you want to be.  Then anytime you begin to focus on the “old” past you redirect yourself to the “new” past you just created.  The transformation can occur rather quickly.

The old stories of unworthiness or not being smart enough or just not being enough are the stories that will trigger self-sabotage.  Rewriting them and MAKING them yours will transform your current results and quality of life.

Work on this, this week and next week you will be ready for step three.

In Love and Light,

Michelle

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