Last week we you learned that a big indicator of a lack of self-love is judgment.  When you judge another it’s simply a way to protect yourself from your unconscious guilt.  Today we will look at the second indication that you are not loving yourself.


What do you say to yourself throughout the day?  Are you criticizing yourself?  Do you call yourself fat, stupid, old, ugly?  This is negative self-talk.  Consider how you talk to yourself.  Would you talk to anybody else the way you talk to yourself? I doubt that you would.  And why not?  Probably because you wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings because you care about their feelings.  I invite you to care as much about your feelings as you care about another’s feelings.

The messages that you give to yourself are often the messages that you received in your younger years.  Although you may remember them with disdain now, you may not realize that you continue the negative messages you received as a child and you have become your own inner bully.

Make your mind a NO BULLY zone.  Allow only kind words to be spoken.


Keep a journal of your negative self-talk so you know what you’re working with.

Your negative self-talk are affirmations.  You are literally affirming what you do not want.  So take a moment to turn your negative affirmations positive.  If you find that you often call yourself stupid.  Turn it around by affirming your intelligence.  For an example, you can say “I am willing to recognize my intelligence” or “maybe I am smart”.

Take a few moments to identify ways you have shown intelligence.  Even write them down in your journal.  This helps you to silence your inner bully.

The power of Emotional Freedom Technique

Once you are aware of what you are saying to yourself you can begin to tap on those negative statements.  For instance, if you find that you call yourself stupid, tap on the statement:  Even though I feel stupid, I deeply and completely love, accept and forgive myself.  Do several rounds of EFT on feeling stupid and doubting your intelligence.  Then use positive tapping with your new affirmations.

This is a powerful way to transform the way you talk to yourself and begin to nurture a loving relationship with the most important person in your life…you.

I invite you to leave your thoughts, questions and aha moments in the comments below.

In Light,