I crave the answer to a question unknown.

I fear I might explode

The pressure of information wanting to burst through me

I look outside. 

Pulling books from the shelves. Opening to random pages praying  

the answer will reveal itself in

words I’ve read hundreds of times.

And I realize, I’m looking the wrong direction.  

Hiding

My answer…

The answer to the deep unknown question…

Isn’t out there.

It’s

Inside.

Within me.

Within my heart.

Everything has been right HERe.

All.

Along.

Why then is it that I always seek out there?

Rather than in HERe?

What is it about my own fertile darkness within?

Why am I so repelled

that I seek, seek,

And seek again

All the places I’ve already been?

I avoid her.

But the hunger becomes too great….

Nothing satisfies.

I feel as though I’m going mad…this craving going unfed. 

But nothing, nothing of this world fills it.

Finally,

I surrender

I have no choice…

But to dive deeply

Wholly

Completely

Into the Dark Richness

Of my soul.

The darkness is pure…

Pure potential.

Holding.

Everything.

Yes!

I dive out of desperation

Years of starving

Emptiness

Disappointment

Force me into my own Soul.

I fall.

Out of control.

Exquisite falling

Floating

Light as a feather

Ecstasy

Silent bliss.

Home

This is home.

I AM home

My heart is where my home is.

Why have I waited?

Why have a I suffered so long…

Feeding myself scraps of this world

All along She waited

Patiently

Arms open

Womb receptive

Love unwavering

Sophia knew…

She always knew

That I would return to Her

That I would return to Me

I was the unknown question

I am fed

Thirst quenched

Satiated

In Her

In Me

I and my Mother are One

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