How I lost & found my religion today

 

I saw the movie "I Can Only Imagine" the true story about Bart Millard, a Christian musical artist and his hit single.  I cried throughout the movie.

My heart was broken open.

The movie took me back to the 1980's and the faith of my youth.  Christian music played a big part in my life back then.

My faith shifted after I was deeply disappointed by the parishioners and the pastors of my church.  They broke my heart and my eyes had been opened to their hypocrisy.

After that I dove whole-heartedly into metaphysics and began researching the history of religion including paganism.  It was in paganism that I found my heavenly mother.  The unconditionally loving, nurturing, female deity that looked like me that I so deeply craved.

Today, Easter, as I was deeply craving inspiration for my soul, I was led to this movie. In the movie I could see the Heavenly Father that I had fallen in love with as a child.

And what happened next, and I'm crying as I write this, my unconditionally loving Heavenly Father married my unconditionally loving  Heavenly Mother, the Sacred Feminine.  the Heavenly trinity is whole again within me.

I AM the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine.

You see, I rejected the God of my youth after my experience at the church.  Then I rejected the Bible the day that I first read the Adam and Eve story in Genesis.  (I'm honestly not sure how I didn't read that story as a child in the church for 6 years).  I share in my book, Women: From Profit to Power,  that when I read that God punished Eve with pain in childbirth it felt like a knife in my heart.

Suddenly I realized that the God I had so loved wanted me to suffer...believed that I deserved to suffer.

I felt that rejection and judgment deeply so I rejected him and his book.

I had just given birth (a very painful and long labor) a year earlier and in the midst of post-partum depression my intuition told me that that was not how childbirth was meant to be.  So, I set out to do whatever I could to change the experience of childbirth for other women.  It was just months after getting my Hypno-birthing certification that I read that Bible passage.

From then on my work has been about awakening women to their power by healing the four core wounds of the feminine.

Today, in that movie, bawling my eyes out, I realized how much I have missed my Heavenly Father. I also realized that I can have my Heavenly Father without guilt and shame and have my Sacred Feminine as well in fact it’s necessary.

My point in sharing this with you is to help you see how the separation has shown up in your life.

  • Where have you become separated from your sacred?
  • Do you find yourself a broken marriage?
  • Do you feel broken, inadequate or that you just don’t measure up?
  • Do you doubt that you have anything that others would want?

Knowing that you are sacred and feeling the presence of the Divine within you is imperative to knowing your value. It’s imperative to living your vision and impacting the world.

Here are two steps to begin to bridge that separation:

First…

Know that the separation is just a story.  Just as a drop of ocean has the entire ocean in it, you have the Divine within you.  Allow yourself to feel the presence within you.

If your response is “I don’t know how to feel that”…then pretend you do.  Ask yourself these questions:

  • How would I feel to be the physical representation of the Divine?
  • How would I stand/walk/move in the world?
  • What would I say?
  • How would I love?
  • Who would I love?
  • When would I love?
  • Would I love myself?

Then…

Close your eyes…

See, feel and experience being held in the arms of your heavenly mother and father.  Do this in what ever way works for you.  Maybe one parent at a time or both at once.  This is YOUR reunion.  Do what feels good to you.

They each have a message for you…

What is that message?

Feel their words reverberate in your Soul.  Receive them into your heart.

Journal about your experience.

How does it feel to be deeply loved and received unconditionally by your creators?

I would love to hear about your experience.

In Love & Light,

Michelle

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